Christmas column 2010

Christmas is for those who are grieving

Dear Lula Belle,

Christmas is putting too much pressure on me. I don’t have the energy or the desire to celebrate the holidays at all. I lost my husband back in the spring. This is my first Christmas without him. My children live far away and I have chosen not to travel. I fear I would bring everyone down. I did not put up a tree. I have not sent out cards. I have only bought gifts for my children and grandchildren and I mailed those out a month ago. Everyone keeps telling me I am making a mistake to skip Christmas. I don’t think so. I am afraid friends and family are going to show up and force me to celebrate. I am fairly certain my family has been making plans to “kidnap”
me. If they do this, should I lock the doors? How should I make them understand I need this time to myself? –Too sad to celebrate

Dear Sad,

Bless your heart. Christmas is hard for many people for many reasons. It feels like a slap in the face to see others smiling like they don’t have a care in the world. And maybe they don’t now, but all of us will eventually face a sad holiday when we are so grief- stricken, we don’t have the energy to put up a tree. It is true.

I believe Christmas is for YOU exactly where you are in your life right now. Christmas is not for those who think they have it made and life is so wonderful and easy. Christmas is for those who are suffering. It is for the ones who are mourning their loved ones. It is for those who have dysfunctional families. It is for those who are stricken with illness and are uncertain if this will be their last Christmas on earth. It is for those who have lost their jobs. It is for those who know great and terrible sorrows. Because this is why there is Christmas in the first place. No matter what it may look like at Wal-mart or on T.V., Christmas is a promise of eternal life, peace, and healing.

When you see candy canes, those are for you. They symbolize the shepherds in the field who were the first to hear the good news of the Savior’s birth. God could have chosen to send the heavenly messengers to visit more “important” people but He chose just regular folks like you and me.

When you see wreaths hanging on doors, those are for you. They symbolize eternal life. The Savior came so that your husband is not gone forever. You will be with him again someday.

When you see candles and Christmas lights on trees, those are for you. They represent the light of Christ whose love for us will light the way even when our world has become dark and lonely.

When you see gifts, those are for you. They symbolize the True Christmas Gift from our Heavenly Father: His Son whom He gave to the world because He loved us.

When you see bows on packages and on wreaths, these are for you. They symbolize the binds of brotherly love and the ties we have to our family and friends. These remind us to let people in and not lock them out. They remind us we are all brothers and sisters in God’s eyes and we need to forgive others unconditionally and show our love to everyone, even our enemies.

When you see stars or angels on top of a Christmas tree, they are for you. They represent the First Christmas and remind us of the Bethlehem star which led the way and the Angels who shared the good news. It may not seem like it when you are sad, but there is a Way to unbelievable goodness and joy.

When you hear jingle bells ringing, these are for you. They symbolize the lost sheep and remind us that even when we feel lost, the Good Shepherd will bring us back to the flock.

And finally, when you see the colors red and green, those are for you. They represent the blood which was shed for us to bring us eternal life. This means the True Christmas Gift has prepared a way for us to always be together. And since you are missing your husband so much and I know you have a broken heart, I can think of no better day to rejoice than on Christmas morning.

So, don’t worry about having your house decked out to the nines. Don’t worry if you cry through the entire day. Just please let your loved ones in. Always remember the gifts Jesus has for you on Christmas Day and every day.

Merry Christmas to all my readers! May your holiday be blessed with all the joys that money cannot buy.

Need Advice? Ask Lula Belle by sending your questions to: asklulabelle@windstream.net